2 Ways to Improve a Relationship

When I was 25 years old, I moved out into the country in Connecticut and built my own house on 55 acres of land. For the times (it was 1976) the house I built was considered outrageous. It was passive solar with a wood burning furnace as the backup. There were no windows on the north side of the house, while the south side was basically all triple pane glass. I even built a greenhouse that served as our dining room. Believe me when I tell you rural Connecticut in 1976 was not ready for a passive solar house.

We were the talk of the town. But I had tremendous confidence in the concepts I employed in the construction, even though they were cutting edge. As it turned out my, confidence was well placed. During the winters it only took two cords of wood to back up the heat given us by the sun and stored by massive amounts of concrete. The laws of physics which were used to design the house as efficiently as it was, worked. It came down to the fact that I trusted the laws of physics even though they were not tested in many of the applications I utilized. I knew gravity worked equally for a stone or a feather. The physics of building a passive solar home were known. I just used the rules in ways that had not been done before.

Similarly, I know the "physics" of relationships also work regardless of a particular set of circumstances. I know for instance, every human being responds kindly to words of love and support. I also know every human being responds unfavorably to words of criticism. When people came to my office for help with their failing marriage the first thing I did was get them to agree to stop hurting each other. Most people had no idea that they were throwing out hurtful barbs to their spouse. They had become so used to treating each other disrespectfully that my insistence on ending the attacks was often met with disbelief. But it didn't take long before one or the other would say something they thought was just an innocent statement, but was in reality a painful dig. Even when I busted somebody, they thought I was joking until I asked the spouse, "did it hurt?" and of course it did.

Here are two ways to improve a relationship:
Consciously stop every attack before it gets out of your mouth
Consciously say sweet and wonderful things to your spouse

The relationship you have is dynamic, that is to say it is constantly moving and changing. Think of it like a river that carries away anything you put into it. As soon as you stop polluting, dumping nasty stuff into the river, it becomes cleaner with each passing moment. If you stop polluting your relationship, it will improve immediately and if you start putting sweet things into your relationship it will improve exponentially. And by all means remember to tell the person you love, "I love you."

Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

I wrote Lessons For A Happy Marriage to help people save their troubled marriage and end the marriage crisis in our country; it's about saving children. Let's stop divorce. The problems go beyond the failures of marriage counselors. My life's mission is to eradicate the need for divorce through focused education. If you're married, tell your soul mate, "I love you."

Print This Article Comment on Article Email to Friends Ezine Ready

Please Rate this Article

5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5 

Not yet Rated