4 Step Training System – How to Teach Your Kids New Skills

Chores are an important part of daily life. Those mundane daily jobs that seem effortless for adults to tackle can seem like insurmountable tasks for some children. Membership in a family takes coordinated effort for a household to run smoothly. Each person has a role to play and jobs to perform.

While the roles can be quite fluid and the expectations for the level of performance may change from time to time, those routine jobs around the house still have to be done. The trash has to go out, the dishes have to be washed, and the beds still have to be made! When children are made to take part in the care of the everyday running of the house they learn skills that will serve them for a lifetime.

The best way to teach a new skill and to foster future independence is to break the work down in "chunks" or steps that the child can absorb. This prevents the child from feeling overwhelmed from information overload. Good instruction starts with modeling of the new skill, guided teaching, and then is followed by lots of independent practice. Making the bed is a great place to start in the realm of chores and teaching responsibility.

The following is a 4 Step System that can be applied to any household chore and will produce positive results with your child moving toward assuming more personal responsibility.

Demonstrate: "This is the way I learned to make a bed. I will show you the method that has worked for me.”

Assist: "How about we work together to make the bed? If you have any questions or can think of a better method, let me know and we will try it. What are the most important things to remember when you make a bed? Remember, I am your assistant today."

Supervise: "I have confidence in you. You really understand all the basics of how to make a bed so it looks good and feels comfortable. I am going to stand here by the door and if you need help or have a question you can ask me, but I think you have earned the right to say you are an "official bed maker."

Support: “It feels good to master a job doesn’t it? I am proud to say that you have done a fine job and you now have "ownership" of making your own bed every morning for the rest of your life. Don’t worry, it will become automatic action soon, and you won’t even have to think about all the little parts of how to make a bed. I am going to do some of my own jobs now, but why don’t we meet in the kitchen in a few minutes and have a special breakfast to celebrate your accomplishment?"

How long will it take for a child to master the skill and then "own" the task? This differs from child to child, based on age and the teaching adult's persistence. The answer is really "as long as the child takes to begin assuming personal responsibility." You may even need to do a refresher course occasionally. While hospital corners may be a bit beyond the ability of most young children, fluffing the pillow, pulling the sheets up and spreading a simple comforter over the top of it all is definitely do-able! The goal is to get to automatic action and transfer the ownership of the task to the child.

Keep in mind that the less you do for your children, the more time you will have to do things with them.

Judy H. Wright is a parent educator who has written over 20 books on family relations. These books, CD's, tele-classes and workshops are available at www.ArtichokePress.com You can ask parenting questions and share information at www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com Be sure to sign up for the free ezine: "The Artichoke-finding the heart of the story in the journey of life." For a free eBook visit www.UseEncouragingWords.com

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