Being Real Means Believing in Your Own Goodness

We cannot be real unless we love ourselves, and we cannot love ourselves until we believe in our own purity of heart. This is not about something we do, but rather about something we are. It is unequivocal, our natural state of being-the opposite of sin, the same as light.

As long as we remain disconnected from that innate goodness, we can never be genuine. We will always be one step from the good stuff, always pushing away the joy that comes from an accepted life. Anything short of loving it all misses the mark, and we are left with only a shadow of substance. The shadow taunts and teases us, yearning to merge with the true Self.

Our real Self is there for the taking-ripe-waiting to be loved, waiting to be forgiven.

Forgiving ourselves begins the task of recognizing the goodness. True forgiveness has the power to set us free. It is never a blanket absolution without responsibility, but rather an opportunity to fully accept ownership of our deeds, to bestow the same compassion on ourselves that we would on others, and finally to move on. Without forgiveness, we are forced into a world of intellectual rationalizations and mutated forms. We end up creating a life that fits the punishment we think we deserve. We have done something bad, and this is our payback. We don't deserve to be loved.

But we have already been punished. We have punished ourselves. It is now time to let go. This life is not about retribution. True, there is an ebb and flow, but it is not about keeping score. We are allowed to make mistakes, to try again, and even to make the same mistake twice. There is no time limit. We do it till we get it right.

When we trust the process, the process unveils the ways to love. This is where we get to exercise our will. We can choose to connect to our essence and what it is to be human with all its fits and starts, or we can twist the love into a shape that fits our vision of a punishing universe. Either way, we draw to us what we feel and create a life from those feelings.

But that is not the end of it. There is truly a way that the universe works, whether or not we get it. And when we are in sync with that way, we are in the moment, absolutely real. Staying rooted in the purity of the process, we exude a quiet confidence that allows us to be totally ourselves and to open up to life. We trust our instincts and give ourselves plenty of space to express all that is to come. Without agendas or manipulation, we move through the world okay in not knowing what will come next. We dare to be vulnerable, and that rawness instantly makes us real.

Chapter 50 from Reality Works - Let It Happen Copyright © 2002 Chandra Alexander

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