Communication With Your Children: Do You Really Listen?

Children are precious commodities of their parents and should be cherished, protected, and loved. And as parents...we are responsible for the young adults our little ones grow up to become. Communication is a significant part of that.

I've been a parent for nearly 24 years, and in my experience of it has resulted in my share of a few wrinkles and gray hairs. Of course a lot of those wrinkles and gray hairs stemmed from Mother Nature mind you...but like everything else in life, it's been quite the up and down hill journey. Perhaps a little more communication and listening would have made that journey a bit more effortless.

Below are some helpful tips for open and honest communicating

* Be Silent And Let Your Child Voice Their Opinion

Listening is a learned skill and often times, a bit of a challenge for some parents. It's so very important to suppress from being the advisor and let your children express their feelings and voice their frustrations to you. And it should be encouraged. Ask them what's on their minds. Ask them what's frustrating them. Let them talk and YOU be the listener. This is a crucial part of building good parent and child communication skills. If you let yourself be the sounding board rather than being the protector or advisor...your child will be much more compliant to accepting your advise when it's the appropriate time to give it. This also is a step in the right direction to establishing a good relationship with your child.

* Practice Good Eye Contact With Your Children

Whether you are speaking or listening to your child, it is always important to form eye contact with them. Let them know you have your child's undivided attention by looking into their eyes rather than looking away. For example: If you are glancing out the window, or looking at your watch, or even staring across the room...your child will sense that you are not fully listening. Get down on their level if you have to and really let your child know they have your full attention. In doing so, you will also be teaching them to express themselves more efficiently when they are adults.

* Manner Of Speaking

Your tone of voice is something that your child hears from infancy. An infant can sense when you are happy, sad, mad, frightened...not just from the tone of your voice but from your touch as well. Verbal communication expands beyond words. When you're speaking to your child...speak gently and without anger. Speak firmly when you need to, but not with an angry voice. You will find that your child will listen more intently and favorably when speaking in a softer voice.

* Spend Quality Time With Your Children

Spending time with your child is essential for their security and well being and is also a key element of communication. Children need love and attention. It is imperative for their self-esteem.

Try and schedule a weekly meeting or a "talk time" with your children. You can make this a special family night just to sit with them and discuss anything that may be upsetting them. Or as a whole, what is going on in their lives, at school or just in general. In addition, you can also use your family meal time to sit and talk. This will give you a chance to gather information and sense if anything is bothering your children, and if anything needs to be addressed. The idea is to always keep the lines of communication open. Be attentive and make sure you constantly show your love and compassion.

As a parent, I often played the role of protector and was constantly giving advice and voicing MY opinion. I could have listened more. Now that my son is older...we often have heart-felt conversations and I do a lot of listening. Effective communication skills takes a lot of patience and work. Remember, parents make mistakes and they are not perfect. Start when your children are young and your bond will be that much stronger.

Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

Article Written By Tammy Embrich

You can find more parenting articles by visiting Parent Zone.

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