Criticism, Control and Cutting Remarks

"You have such a pretty face; it’s too bad you are overweight." "How could you be so dumb?" "You did that wrong again." "What is the matter with you? Aren’t you listening?" "You are just like your dad and he was a loser too."

If just reading those negative statements caused a knot to form in your stomach or your shoulders to droop, imagine hearing that barrage day after day? Many parents, bosses and family members feel that their way is the only way. In an attempt to make themselves right, they endeavor to make others wrong.

Control Freaks

The world is full of people who attempt to control others with judgments, comparisons and guilt. They hold a vision of perfection that is unattainable for mere mortals. It is as if they are the sole authority on what is right and worthy of their acceptance and approval. Since reaching perfection is out of the question, they are forever disappointed, frustrated and looking for someone or something to blame.

Cutting Comments

The basis for criticism or snide comments may be a desire to want the best for the recipient but the method of communication has a basis of disrespect. How a comment or remark is phrased is often a much larger reflection on the speaker than on the receiver.

It may have much more to do with their own self image than on yours. A negative, demanding person takes the energy and self confidence away from those he had hoped to motivate.

Use Encouraging Words

Criticism is the opposite of encouragement, even if the speaker tells you it is constructive or for your own good. If an interaction with another person leaves you feeling depleted, defeated or discouraged, you can be sure it was filled with criticism.

If the remark leaves you feeling light, happy and courageous, it was words of encouragement.

Would you like to learn to set boundaries and build self confidence in yourself and loved ones? Check out the new eCourse by Judy H. Wright at www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com Please join us for free weekly teleclasses at www.ArtichokePress.com where you can sign up for a free newsletter; The Artichoke-Finding the Heart of the Story in the Journey of Life.

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