Getting out of the Blame Game

 

” He made me do it, that’s why the toy is broken”
“I don’t know, it just happened”
” It wasn’t me”
How often do you hear these words being said by your child when he is caught in a fix?

Do these sentances sound familiar to you?

When your child plays the “victim” and tried to minimise the negative effect of the problem by conveniently putting the blame of others.  He  doesn’t have any intention on correcting the errant behaviour as he is trying to believe that it is not his fault that it happened. 

By uttering such words they hope that the problem will magically disappear and that the would be free from impending punishment. Wishful thinking kid!! The problem doesn’t go away just because you wished it did. It is not that easy to get scott free after being caught for misconduct. You still need to be reprimended for your wrongdoing.

Sometimes it can be the parents who comes up with excuses for their kids to justify their behaviour.
“He picked up vulgar language or bad habits from his friends”
” He didn’t perform well because the teachers didn’t teach him well”
” He is still only a child!!”
” I admit my child is mischevious, but they were picking on him. They were not treating him FAIRLY!! The other kids should be punished too for instigating my child.”

Through making excuses for your child you are telling him that he IS the victim. They will not feel a need to change, or take personal responsibility in any area of their life. After all, they think they are a victim and mummy and daddy will always be there to bail them out.

This kind of behaviour should never be allowed of encourage especially from parents It is extremely ineffective and you will be putting yourself into a parenting rut as your child will not be able to learn from his mistake and constantly commit the same error.

You have to empower your child to think for himself if he were to learn the skills to survive in today's world.

Stop seeing your child as a victim and blaming others for his individual predicament.

Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

Dominique Goh, elementary school educator, mom to two young boys, freelance writer, budding website designer and administrator. Sign up for my parenting newsletter and receive a FREE Childcare E-book at Dominique's Desk

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