How Well do you actually know your child?

From the day our little baby arrive in this world we embark on a never ending roller coaster ride of highs and lows.

Our natural instinct would be to protect our child from the ills of society and at the same time teach them how to fend for themselves. From a fully dependent baby they blossom into independent teenagers who may keep secrets from you.

How then did you manage to "lose " your child on the way? Was it something that you do or didn't do that warrant the change?

How did that warm " tell mummy everything " child morph into a " no I'm not letting my mom know" child?

Many times it has been out attitude that unwittingly causes our child to turn away from us. We are too distracted with our stresses from our job and just getting all the chores done to spare that precious few seconds listening to our child's concern and attending to his/her needs.

By brushing off our child the message that we are sending to them is one that their needs and concerns are secondary to ours. We will only deal with their needs once ours is settled/solved.

It is our job as parents to keep the lines of communication open between our children and us. It is a fine balance between being an overprotective parent and a "hand's off" one. Both extremes can be extremely detrimental to the well being of our child.

How then can we maintain an "open door" policy with our child?

1) Make time

Try to make it a habit to spend some time daily with each child. If it is not physically possible to be present with your child you can send him a short text message or an e-mail or even do a video call via Skype to show your concern for him.

2) Listen Attentively

Every child deserves their parent's full attention. My boys demand my full attention and I do give it to them as they duly seek. If I am unable to attend to them immediately I will let them know exactly when I will be able to spare them some time to sit down and talk or do the activity that they wish to do with me.

3) Have an open Mind

Do not be quick to critique your child when they are speaking to you. Fault finding is a No-No as it automatically switches the other person off and they will refrain from sharing their thoughts with you in the future.

4) Knowing your child

Every child is unique. To really know your child is to be able to focus on his strengths and corresponding weaknesses. To give encouragement and advice when needed. To know when to assist and when to withdraw help so they will be able to grow both physically and mentally.

If your child knows that you acknowledge and accept his individuality there is lesser chance that they will clamp up to you in the future.

Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

Dominique Goh, elementary school teacher and mom to two active boys. Freelance writer and blog consultant.
Catch my personal parenting tips at From Dominique's Desk
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