Is An Affair The End Of A Relationship?

Nothing seems more devastating than finding out your partner is having an affair but does it have to mean the end of your relationship? Could this broken relationship be salvageable?

Important components to consider in the healing process:

1. You want to stay – even though your ego, family and friends are telling you to go.

-Ask yourself, “Why do I want to stay?”

-Is your partner remorseful? The answer needs to be yes.

-And although you can never be held responsible for someone else’s bad behavior, do you accept responsibility for your behavior?

2. Did you know there were problems and did you look the other way and not want to confront them? You cannot stay if you stay in that victim mentality.

-You must be willing to get professional help – both as a couple and individually.

-Couples therapy by itself does not work. Both of you need to do individual work.

-Cheating is NOT a sexual issue but a character issue. And refusing to deal with “red flags” puts one in denial.

3. Stop telling everyone your story to gain consensus. We all know it was a bad thing to do and besides repetition makes the hurt worse.

-The more you tell your story the longer you will feel victimized.

-Re-hashing the details hard-wires the dysfunction even more.

-If you want to heal, you need to zip it.

4. You once had good chemistry with one another.

-Now is the time to be really honest with yourself.

-Did you once have good chemistry with your partner or was that a part of the relationship that was never so great?

-If the chemistry was never there to begin with, now might be a good time to end the relationship.

5. Going through the process allows us to forgive.

-You need to feel the hurt AND remember the good times – both are important in the healing process.

-Nothing is either all good or all bad – simply “what is”.

-If we are able to deal with reality, we have a chance for a re-do.

Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

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