Nobody Likes Me! The Left Out Child

Do you worry that your child doesn't seem to make friends easily? Does he give a message of despair and closed body language to others? Does he refuse to make eye contact or smile when he meets others? Is he shy or simply self contained?

Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more than the plaintive cry "nobody likes me" or "I don’t have any friends." We wish there were something we could do to insure the child will be, if not the most popular, at least included in the games on the playground.

Actually, there is something we can do to increase their acceptance by the group and become more approachable to others. We can teach them some skills and behaviors that will enhance their chances of being picked as a friend.

Language of Likeability

New research shows that all likeable children behave in certain ways. They talk, walk and interact with confidence. They express acceptance to others in their verbal and non verbal interaction and play. They smile and look open to friendship.

These skills of positive communication are not in-born but can be taught by parents, teachers and other caring adults. There is a language of likeability that some children cannot pick up by osmosis, but must learn. It has been called "shorthand" to making friends.

Having Friends is Good For You

Not only does fitting in and having friends feel good, it has numerous other advantages including better grades, healthier bodies, less stress, and more opportunities to learn social skills. Children who feel like they have friends tend to stay in school longer, make wiser decisions, and are generally happier and so it much more important than just having a play date.

One of the most effective tools I have found for change is to think about an incident that happened ether positive or negative and then say "next time……." It helps you to cement what went right and reflect on what didn’t go so well, so you can make changes in behavior and attitude. It also reminds the child that we all get another chance to try again, and that somewhere there is a friend just waiting for them.

Use Encouraging Words

To assist parents, teachers, child care providers and coaches to encourage friendships, Judy H. Wright also known as Auntie Artichoke, would like to give you a gift. You will find a FREE eBook on communicating for positive results at www.UseEncouragingWords.com We also invite you to join us at our FREE weekly teleclasses on relationship themes. You can sign up at www.ArtichokePress.com You will be glad you did.

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