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Parents need to convey though words and gestures that we appreciate our children's efforts and improvement, not just their accomplishments. We need to make a point of noticing what they do right, not just what they do wrong. A very effective way of communicating is create a verbal Encouragement Sandwich: 1. Start off with a slice of the bread of life. For example, "I really admire the way you are learning to take better care of your things." 2. Next, add a little mayo spread lightly, "I felt happy when I saw you hang up your new jacket last night." 3. Then, the slice of sharp cheese, "However, I noticed you left your bike outside in the rain again." 4. On top of the cheese, a little spicy mustard to catch their attention, "Please put it away every night or we will have to lock it up for a week each time it is left out.". 5. Finally, another slice of bread, "All in all, you are a responsible kid and I have confidence you will choose to take better care of your bike." Do they get the message of the mistake of leaving the bike out? Yes, but it is not by attacking them personally and this method of correction gives them an incentive to do better. Nurturing better behavior Some parents and care givers, particularly those who did not receive much love or encouragement in their childhoods, often fail to see the importance of nurturing the inner core of a child. The sad part of this is that encouragement and kind feedback will bring about positive change, whereas criticism brings about rebellion, anger and loss of self worth.
Use Encouraging Words Judy H. Wright also known as Auntie Artichoke, the family relationship coach, would like to invite you to a free teleclass every Thursday. A full listing can be found at www.ArtichokePress.com along with books, eCourses, workshops and other articles. We would also like to encourage you to get a free eBook on communication for positive results. You will find this at www.UseEncouragingWords.com You will be glad you did.
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