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Without Change, We Stop Growing How many times have you said or heard, “I will never change. I like myself exactly as I am." The willingness to change is essential to love and happiness and without it, we stop growing. Why We Keep Commitments - We Want To! When you make a commitment – can you keep it? Here are the reasons why commitments work: Why Having a Quiet Mind Brings Peace Are you plagued with a mind that never rests? If you have trouble sleeping at night, difficulty finishing what you've started, and trouble making decisions, learn why having a quiet mind brings peace and clarity and is the foundation for a life that works. When You Are Confused, Do Nothing What is confusion, really? What do you do when you are confused? How to turn being confused into a journey of self-exploration that stills the mind and opens the heart. When We Are Loved Unconditionally, We Get a Glimpse of the Inner Self When children and pets love us openly and completely, we attribute this quality to their innocence, never realizing that this love is also our true nature, the nature we have long ago forgotten. This forgetting is not a flaw but an intricate part of the human experience, a chance for us to once again connect to what is real. When Confused, Do Nothing! Rushing a decision is never in our best interests but often we fear the unknown and choose a course before the time is right. Do you know that - When you are confused, it is always best to do nothing? What's a Dysfunctional Relationship? (Continued) Acknowledging true feelings is the beginning of change. You cannot move to a place that works from a place that doesn't work unless you are willing to be brutally honest this present moment. Some of the ways to recognize that you are in a dysfunctional relationship: You behave in ways that you don't like. What's a Dysfunctional Relationship? No one likes to think of themselves as being in a dysfunctional relationship, but at one time or another, all of us have experienced these feelings. We all do it wrong until we learn how to do it right. What to Do in a Sexless Relationship Are you in a "sexless" relationship with a partner who does not see this as a problem? If you feel this is important to you, you need to talk to your partner about it now. What Really Happens In Unhealthy Relationships Breaking up is hard to do because it is hard-wired, all about patterns formed in childhood. It’s what we did in order to survive in our family of origin. We choose a partner we can run our story with, or rather is a good fit with our story. For example... What Loving Yourself Means We've all heard the saying "You can't love anyone else until you love yourself". And although many of us believe this is true, few of us have any idea how to really do it. If you really want to know what loving yourself means and how to do it, read on. Understanding Children - What We Need To Learn About Ourselves Do you feel your child is out of control? If so, it is important to understand how out of control children are often the result of parents without boundaries. Trouble Making a Commitment? Do you have trouble making a commitment and once you've made one, can you keep it? In order to commit, it is important to examine the fears that keep you from truly stepping-up in a relationship. To Leave or To Stay TRASHtionalization - a seemingly rational and noble sounding excuse that is accepted as fact by the majority of people. The following TRASHtionalizations are wake-up calls and if they sound familiar to you, they are also familiar to others. We have all used them, so much so, that the majority of time we accept them as gospel. Hopefully, they will strike a familiar cord and you will recognize your folly. Let them be reminders of our humanness and togetherness in this struggle for what's real and true. Time's Up!!! 5 Sure-Fire Tips For Breaking-Up Time's Up - It's time to break-up. We all need help when breaking from a dysfunctional relationship. Here are some methods that have helped me and worked with my clients: Thinking of Moving In?? Are You Sure? If you're considering moving in with your significant other... Thinking of Asking for a Commitment? Think Again. Are you confused about whether to leave or stay and feel you need a commitment in order to make up your mind? Learn why it is a mistake to ask for a commitment and why an ultimatum always backfires and should never be an option. What do we do when we want a commitment and the other person doesn’t? How do we know whether to leave or stay and when is enough time enough? The Truth about The Law of Attraction The law of attraction says that you will attract to you a match for your energy, or your vibration. If you are always thinking negative thoughts, your vibration will be negative and you will attract a match for that vibration. This is the same for positive thoughts. The Top 5 Ways to Avoid the #1 Cause of Divorce Do you know the number #1 problem in marriage and the number #1 cause of divorce? If you said "money" you'd be right. If you're constantly arguing about money - how it's spent, how much is spent and who's spending it - learn why in all good marriages there are mutually defined financial guidelines. The Relationship Journey - What We Learn Why all of us resonate to the word "relationship" is that there is no better way to know your Self than through relationship. When we are with another person, the other person becomes our mirror - we see our reflection. The things we like become reflected back to us and the things we don't like come reflected back as well. The Art of the Do-Over Have you often said something cruel and hurtful to your partner that you wished you could take back, but instead of correcting it; you just hoped it would go away on its own? If regretting your behavior is something that happens often, learn the healing art of the "Do Over". The Absolute Art Of Forgiveness Holding anger and rage inside immobilizes us and destroys our life and relationships. If you are holding on to a hurt that is preventing you from moving on in life, learn about the power of forgiveness and how it can set you free. The Ability to Be Alone is Key to Having a Good Relationship Are you staying in a bad relationship because you're afraid of being alone? If the prospect of being alone scares you more than the unhealthy relationship you're in, learn why the ability to be alone is actually the key ingredient to having a good relationship and a good life. Starting Over TRASHtionalization - a seemingly rational and noble sounding excuse that is accepted as fact by the majority of people. The following TRASHtionalizations are wake-up calls and if they sound familiar to you, they are also familiar to others. We have all used them, so much so, that the majority of time we accept them as gospel. Hopefully, they will strike a familiar cord and you will recognize your folly. Let them be reminders of our humanness and togetherness in this struggle for what's real and true. Out of Control Anger is Abuse Are you living with someone whose anger is out of control? Unleashed anger is a form of emotional abuse. Ask yourself the following questions: New Relationship - Same Issues??? Starting a new relationship and afraid of making the same mistakes again? If you don’t learn from past experience – what’s the point? As all of us know, there is no end to the number of times we can keep making the same mistakes. Learn how to stop what doesn't work!! Meeting and Courting TRASHtionalizations TRASHtionalization - a seemingly rational and noble sounding excuse that is accepted as fact by the majority of people. The following TRASHtionalizations are wake-up calls and if they sound familiar to you, they are also familiar to others. We have all used them, so much so, that the majority of time we accept them as gospel. Hopefully, they will strike a familiar cord and you will recognize your folly. Let them be reminders of our humanness and togetherness in this struggle for what's real and true. Married, Separated or Available? Are you dating someone who is either married or separated? If you are - Things You Need to Know: Making the SAME Mistake Again? Worrying about making the same mistakes over and over again? Here’s how to recognize re-current destructive relationship patterns so that you can avoid making the same mistake again and again. Loving Your Self We have all heard the saying, "Before you can love anyone else, you need to love yourself first". But what does "loving yourself first" really mean? How do you put into practice every day the art of loving yourself? Is An Affair The End Of A Relationship? Nothing seems more devastating than finding out your partner is having an affair but does it have to mean the end of your relationship? Could this broken relationship be salvageable? How to Tap Into Your Creativity How is consciousness expanded? How do we become something more tomorrow than we are today? How do we tap into feelings, thoughts, inspirations, and dreams that previously were unavailable to us? How to Survive an Extra-Marital Affair An affair can be devastating and often when we think of cheating spouses, we rarely think of women. But according to a cover story in Newsweek magazine, more and more women are having extra-marital affairs and the numbers keep rising. If you have had or are having an extra-marital affair and are confused about whether or not the relationship can be saved - the answer is it can, if you both want to save it. How to Survive an Affair and Rebuild a Broken Marriage Can your relationship survive an extra-marital affair? If you've been cheated on but decided to stay in the relationship, this is what it takes for two people to heal and re-build a broken marriage. How to Stop the Abuse and Take Your Power Back Are you being verbally and emotionally abused and are you finally getting tired of it? NOW is the time to stop the abuse and take your power back. How to Stop Making Your Partner Defensive Do you say how you feel and often end up making your partner defensive? If you have trouble being real because you do not know how to properly communicate your feelings, it is important to learn how to be both tactful and authentic. How to Really Learn from Your Mistakes We all make mistakes; that is the process of living of life. But how many times do you need to make the same mistake? Time is moving along, so it is best to figure out how not to make the same mistake twice. How to Make Peace with the Past and Live in the Present Are unresolved childhood issues still running your life? If you're stuck in the past and don't know how to move on, it is important to learn how to make peace with the past and live in the present. How to Keep the Passion Alive! We all buy into the platitude that passion diminishes over time… but just because many people say the same thing doesn’t make it so. If you feel your relationship is stagnant and has stopped growing, learn why love actually grows and becomes more passionate if you stay awake and connected. How to Effectively Communicate in a Relationship Everyone agrees that good communication is the foundation of all relationships, but how do you begin to relate differently if you've never been taught a more effective way to communicate? Here is a new way to deliver and receive information that feels good and brings positive results. How to Discipline Your Child Are you constantly fighting with your child about discipline? If you are totally exhausted from parent-child battles that occur on a daily basis in your house, learn how to discipline with peace and dignity. How to Disagree Without Destroying Your Relationship Do you know how to fight fair? If constant fighting is ruining your relationship, learn how to disagree in a healthy way without diminishing your partner or destroying the relationship. Is destructive fighting a problem in your relationship? How to Deal With Custody Issues Do you share custody of your child with an ex? If you're always fighting over custody issues, when you see your child and when you don't, learn what the real issues are and stop the fighting. How to Compromise in a Relationship Do you think compromise is the solution for a troubled relationship? If your friends, family and therapist are telling you that compromise is the key to a successful relationship, it's important to understand that authenticity, not compromise, is the foundation of all solid relationships. How to Commit in a Relationship Do you have trouble making a commitment and once you've made one, can you keep it? In order to commit, it is important to examine the fears that keep you from truly stepping-up in a relationship.Do you have trouble making a commitment and once you've made one, can you keep it? In order to commit, it is important to examine the fears that keep you from truly stepping-up in a relationship. How to Bring Intimacy into Your Relationship Do you complain about not having intimacy in your relationship yet you’re still not sure how to get it? If you’ve been blaming your partner for the lack of closeness, it is important to learn why being intimate is always about you, not the other person. How Not to Make the Same Mistake Twice We all make mistakes; that is the process of living of life. But how many times do you need to make the same mistake? Time is moving along, so it is best to figure out how not to make the same mistake twice. Finding A Match - Be Clear What Works Are you looking for your match and not quite sure how to find it? Here's what to look for and the clues and questions to ask yourself: Exploring - Knowing Your Self For The First Time Are you recently divorced, widowed or on your own for the first time and trying to figure who you are and what makes you feel good? Equality and Courting - You Can Have Both! Are you confused about the differences between men and women, want to earn a big paycheck, but still want your car door opened? Equality and courting are not mutually exclusive and exist side by side in the best relationships. Dreading Family Gatherings? Do you dread family gatherings? If you have a meddling mother-in-law that is constantly critical or a father-in-law that drinks too much and is bigoted, you are most probably anxious at family functions. Learn the best way to deal with these problems before, during and after dinner. Does Passion Really Diminish Over Time? We all buy into the platitude that passion diminishes over time but just because many people say the same thing doesn’t make it so. If you feel your relationship is stagnant and has stopped growing, learn why “love grows if you’re not in a coma”. Do You Lie? Do you lie? Do you know that the focus of lying is never about the lie, but about the person telling it? Things You Need To Know About Lying: Do You Know How To Love Your Self? We've all heard the saying "You can't love anyone else until you love yourself". And although many of us believe this is true, few of us have any idea how to really do it. If you really want to know what loving yourself means and how to do it, read on. Do You Have To Be Right? Do you have to be right all the time? Isn’t it exhausting? It took me a long time to figure out, but I prefer feeling right to being right. Do You Have to Be Right All the Time? Do you have to be right all the time? Isn’t it exhausting? It took me a long time to figure out, but I prefer feeling right to being right. Do You Feel Equal and Valued In Your Relationship? Did you both agree that you’d be a stay-at-home mom and now your husband tells you “You have it easy?” Do you feel you do “everything” around the house and feel resentful because of it? Do You Feel Anger and Resentment in Your Relationship? If you feel angry and resentful a lot of the time it could very well be because you are doing things that you really don't want to do. If you often give in to keep the peace, but silently feel resentful, it is important to understand when giving in works and when it doesn't. Dealing with Jealousy Is jealousy ruining your relationship? Learn how to deal with a jealous partner and what you can do to change that. Confused? To Leave or To Stay... Is your relationship in jeopardy and are you wondering whether to leave or stay? Here are some questions to ask yourself before you make this life changing decision. Confused About the Differences between Men and Women? Are you confused about the differences between men and women? Men and women are really not as mysterious as we make them out to be. Chemistry and Compatibility Are you and your partner compatible but have no sexual chemistry? If you are struggling with this issue, you are not alone. My experience is that all great relationships have both chemistry and compatibility. Can You Really "Work" on a Relationship? In my practice, many couples come to me - their relationship is not good and they want it to be better. And as many of you may or may not know, I do not see couples together - except for the first time and then to bring them back together intermittently for check-ins. And that's because there's really no such thing as working on a relationship - the only thing you can ever really work on is yourself. Breaking Up TRASHtionalization - a seemingly rational and noble sounding excuse that is accepted as fact by the majority of people. The following TRASHtionalizations are wake-up calls and if they sound familiar to you, they are also familiar to others. We have all used them, so much so, that the majority of time we accept them as gospel. Hopefully, they will strike a familiar cord and you will recognize your folly. Let them be reminders of our humanness and togetherness in this struggle for what's real and true. Being Real Means Believing in Your Own Goodness We cannot be real unless we love ourselves, and we cannot love ourselves until we believe in our own purity of heart. This is not about something we do, but rather about something we are. It is unequivocal, our natural state of being-the opposite of sin, the same as light. Are you Stuck In A Relationship That Doesn't Work? Do you feel stuck in your relationship and can’t figure out what to do next? How do you know if you are stuck? Are you struggling in a relationship that does not feel supportive and loving? Are you struggling in a relationship that does not feel supportive and loving? All loving relationships have the same key ingredients, so learn what it takes to love and feel loved. Are you living with an emotional bully? Are you living with an emotional bully? This is abusive behavior that has long lasting effects and can cripple you for life. This is behavior you can stop. Are You Killing Your Relationship by Constantly Talking About It? If you're talking your relationship to death, learn how to stop talking about your life and start living it. Constant discussion is an addiction. This has nothing to do with the relationship. Are You Hiding A Secret? Are you keeping a secret about yourself that’s killing you on the inside? If you are, understand why these secrets are poison and keep you from loving relationships. The Truth about Secrets: Are You Grieving? Are you grieving over the loss of a loved one? Whether you are around friends, family, acquaintances, or strangers, understand that grieving is a natural and normal part of life. If you are grieving and are having trouble being with others, here are a few ways to better deal with your loss. Are You Doing the Dance of Intimacy in Your Relationship? Do you and your partner do "the Dance of Intimacy?" If you are still doing the "come close/go away" dance, learn how to stop and make a real connection. Are You Constantly Making Excuses? Do you hear yourself constantly making excuses every time you think about staying or leaving? Rationalizations (TRASHtionalizations) keep you stuck and keep you from having a real relationship. Are You Being Verbally and Emotionally Abused? How to Be Courageous and Stop the Abuse Are you being verbally and emotionally abused and are you finally getting tired of it? NOW is the time to stop the abuse and take your power back. Are You Being Cheated On? Are you being cheated on? If you’re having trouble leaving a destructive relationship even though you know your partner is cheating on you, learn why being brutally honest with yourself is your first priority. Are You and Your Partner Compatible But Have No Sexual Chemistry? Are you and your partner compatible but have no sexual chemistry? If you are struggling with this issue, you are not alone. My experience is that all great relationships have both chemistry and compatibility. Are You Afraid To Talk To Your Partner? Does the thought of talking to your partner make you nervous and apprehensive? If so, you may have a “Walking on Eggs” relationship. Learn why a “walking on eggs” relationship is a communication nightmare. Are You Afraid of Real Intimacy? Do you truly feel connected to your partner? If talking about intimacy substitutes for the real thing, stop talking and doing the dance of intimacy, and learn how to get the real deal. Are You Addicted to Your Cell Phone? If you have a closer relationship with your cell phone than you do with most people in your life, learn why breaking the cell phone addiction is the best thing you can do for yourself. Are You A Workaholic? Be Honest With Yourself! We’ve all heard the term workaholic but somehow we don’t take it seriously. But being a workaholic is an addiction, and like any other addiction, it can destroy relationships.

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