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Your Top 4 Secret Fears and Anxieties About Dating What if she doesn't like me? What if she thinks I am dumb? What if he expects me to pick up the tab for dinner? What if I say the wrong thing and she laughs at me? What if she says no? What if she says yes? Not only is dating filled with anxiety anyway, it is especially hard if you are just going back to the dating scene after a divorce or breakup in a relationship. it is hard enough to be confident when you feel secure and strong, but when you are vulnerable it is especially difficult. Death and Dying - What I Want Vs What I Need If you or a loved one has been given a terminal diagnoses, it is necessarily a life sentence? What do you want in the last few months or years of your life? Do you have the right to ask for and yes, demand that you be given what you want as you make this transition from this plane of existence into the next one? What Makes Strong and Nurturing Families? Human beings have the longest dependency on others than any other living creature. We spend our lives in relationships, either toxic or nurturing. If the family of origin was not supportive and loving, we either repeat that pattern or look for other mentors and teachers. What Do Children Need From Parents? What do children really need besides food, shelter and protection? Have you ever wondered what your responsibility is to ensure that your child will grow up to be a contributing member of society? To do List for Parents, From the Kids Do you wish you knew what your child was thinking about you as a parent? Are you struggling with your confidence as a parent? Do you sometimes feel like you are not doing enough to help your child become a responsible member of society? Tips For Keeping a Clean, Organized House Running a household can be daunting, especially if you have children who are expected to help with the chores. It's difficult getting them to do their work, and even more difficult to keep the house clean, uncluttered, and organized. If you're feeling overwhelmed with it all, here are a few tips for keeping a clean, organized house. Stress Triggers for Kids How do you know what is stress and what is a temper tantrum? How do you figure out if the stomachache is from too many tacos last night or the math test scheduled today? Why would your six year old be stressed when you are the one who lost the job? Why would your eight year old suddenly hate Little League and begin wheezing as it nears time to go? Stop Stress Before it Stops You Where is your stress coming from? Is the daily pressure mounting inside or outside of you? Do you feel stressed on a daily basis or just occasionally? Are you subconsciously adding to your feelings of frustration? Perhaps you are sabotaging your self by not being honest about what you need. Share Family Stories Around the Holiday Table Do you know what was your dad’s favorite Christmas or Hanukkah gift as a young child? Do you know why your grandmother makes her special cookies? Do you, and more important, do your children; know why their aunts, uncles and extended family love them? Respect versus Ridicule-Giving Feedback Your intention is to motivate a child or employee to do better. You are clear in your mind what you want to achieve and the behavior that you want changed. You expect to be listened to and obeyed! You are right and they are wrong. Someday, they will be grateful that you cared enough to show them what they were doing incorrectly. Raising Kids on A Budget-Ask Auntie Artichoke How If your bills and expenses equals more than your income, you are headed for trouble and must take steps immediately to get back on track. There must be enough coming in your household to cover what is going out in expenses. If there is a big difference between the two, then you may be headed for trouble. The sooner you can find solutions, the faster you can be in a position to balance your budget Presents or Presence? Which Gift is the Most Priceless? Do you remember the old nursery rhymes from Mother Goose? Does your cupboard feel bare? How about your bank account? What about your wallet? Are you dreading gift gifting time because you used to give such wonderful gifts and you are afraid others will expect it of you this year? Notes to My Parent-From Your Child What does your child really need from you besides food, shelter and love? Are you struggling with your confidence as a parent? Do you sometimes feel like you are not doing enough to help your child become a responsible member of society? Do you wish your child could put into words what he or she really needs each day in order to feel safe, secure and ready to learn? Money Will Buy a Dog, But Won't Buy The Wag of His Tail 'Tis the season to be jolly, but 'tis also the time of year when many people are faced with financial crises and find themselves flat broke. The Holidays are jam packed with food, family, friends, and frustrations. We may want a pet for our children, but what they need is to learn the lessons a pet can teach. Manners, Etiquette & Politeness Quiz with Auntie Artichoke People with good manners have the ability to make others feel comfortable. How you behave in social situations will have a big reflection on how those who work or interact with you will perceive you and judge your character in other areas of your life. Incentives Can Encourage Feelings of Accomplishment Do you know the difference between a bribe and an incentive? Are your children and employees always concerned with WIIFE (what's in it for me)? Do you think the sense of entitlement some children have is growing? How do you teach the inner reward when they want an outer or tangible gift? In this article, we will discuss the place of incentives in motivation. Why Encourage Children to Have the Self-Confidence to Speak Up? Is your child shy? Do they feel like they are left out of playmates and playground activities? Is there a way to increase their self confidence without making it a huge issue for them? What are some ideas for helping them to be critical thinkers and problem solvers? Encouraging Words With Auntie Artichoke Encouragement is the process of focusing on your children’s assets and strengths in order to build their self-confidence and feelings of worth. I like to think of the word "encourage" as "en"courage, or giving the gift of courage. Inherent in that gift is the idea that it is okay to take risks and perhaps even to fail - the important thing is to go ahead and try it anyway. When we give a child encouragement, we are saying to keep trying, keep up with the progress, and to celebrate the journey, not just the victory. Discovering Color in Our Food and Life Those who come from a sense of lack are concerned with having enough to eat. They desire quantity and want to be full, because they are not sure where the next meal is coming from. They are afraid of hunger and tend to choose white starches and carbohydrates because they are cheap and filling. Character Traits To Teach and Have Character is the set of qualities that make somebody distinctive. It is the outward manifestation of what you believe inside your mind and spirit. It is your nature, personality and moral fiber. Your character is the attitude and set of mind which indicates to others who you are and what you stand for. Broke or Poor? One is Temporary and One is Forever Flat Broke. Wow, that is not a good place to be Right now, it seems to be a popular place inhabited by lots of nice people who didn’t ask or deserve to be there. But it is a place, and you can move from one place to another place. Broke means having no money to spend (right now), totally bankrupt and insolvent (right now). To be broke is to me the opposite of resilient, or flexible. Broken can be mended and frequently is better and stronger than before. Are You Stuffed Like a Turkey? In America, Thanksgiving traditionally means family, friends, and especially food. We cook and eat as if there was a scarcity of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing and creamy vegetables. We dive into pumpkin pie as if there was a national law that says it can only be served and eaten one day a year. Are We Spoiling Our Kids With Too Much Stuff? Are you a parent, grandparent, teacher, coach or employer who is dismayed at the sense of entitlement many of our young children have? And that is not all they have. They have clothes enough to outfit a small orphanage, toys enough for a play land and an excuse for every chore they are asked to do. Water, Water … Everywhere What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I bet your favorite memories as a child involved getting wet, running through sprinklers on a sweltering afternoon, water fights in the backyard, wading at the beach, playing on the slip & slide, and skipping rocks across the river. Your kids will relish the same experiences if they share them with you. Positive Correction Changes Behavior Parents need to convey though words and gestures that we appreciate our children's efforts and improvement, not just their accomplishments. We need to make a point of noticing what they do right, not just what they do wrong. Use Encouragement Not Criticism to Help Children Improve Our words are very powerful tools, especially with impressionable children. We need to pause and think before we give corrections and feedback on what our children are doing. Understanding Medical Jargon My neighbor was furious when she came out of the doctor's office. All through lunch she complained about waiting for 2 hours to get in, being seen by a doctor who did not know her, and spending 4 minutes total with him. Most of the time involved cursory questions to determine if she was the right patient. Time Out for Adults Does time out work for children? Yes, but only when it is age appropriate (one minute for each year of age) and then followed by a discussion at eye level of why the action was unacceptable. The Second Half of My Life Have you ever wondered what your destiny in life was? Did you ever ponder whether the road you were on was the one leading to fulfillment and happiness? Unlike so many of my friends and family, I have always had the sure knowledge of what was expected of me. Make Friends and Be Well Liked - 10 Ways to Encourage Friendships Parents, teachers and other caring adults: Here are 10 secrets to assisting your child to be more likeable. Teach and model them on a daily basis and you will find your social circle enlarging. Nobody Likes Me! The Left Out Child Do you worry that your child doesn't seem to make friends easily? Does he give a message of despair and closed body language to others? Does he refuse to make eye contact or smile when he meets others? Is he shy or simply self contained? Finding Gold in the Rocks - Reframe Negative Self-Imposed Traits into Positive Traits Too often, people criticize themselves and call themselves names. Sometimes we even take on the names other people have given us throughout our lives, even if we don't deserve them. We sometimes base our life on those negative traits, whether they're true or not. This is unhealthy, and an overall negative way to live your life. Next Time and Up Until Now - Mistake or Learning Experience? If you've made a mistake recently and you feel like beating yourself up about it, take a moment to think. Will this mistake affect your happiness for the rest of your life? Probably not. Say to yourself, "next time!" and think about how you'll handle a similar situation if it ever happens again. You've learned from your mistake now, instead of letting it get you down into a negative mindset. Give the Gift of Courage and Encouragement Encouraging words are extremely powerful. When you encourage somebody, you are giving them a gift of courage. It compels them to move forward, to achieve more in life than just the bare minimum. Knowing that somebody wants you to succeed, and tells you so, can give you the courage and the confidence to truly do so. Be a Good Finder, Not a Fault Finder - Don't Nit Pick Over Everything As a parent, or anybody in a relationship with another person, it's important to remember not to nitpick. It seems easy for some people to find faults, and to criticize. They examine others for any possible flaw, and point it out as though this is necessary for everyone. In fact, it's not! Smile! Relieve Stress, Achieve Happiness, and Relax Just by Smiling Did you know that just by smiling, you can actually make yourself feel happy? It sounds silly, and it may not be easy the first time, but it's true, it really works. Sometimes a positive attitude in negative situations can turn things around, and improve the situation. Just like a positive attitude, a simple smile can calm you when you're stressed, or improve your mood when feeling down. Messages Through Body Language - Communication is More Than Just Words When communicating with others, words are important. They relay the literal meaning of what you're trying to communicate. But words aren't everything. Body language is the key to understanding the true meaning behind what somebody is saying. Do Your Beliefs Control Your Actions? Everybody has beliefs. No matter who you are or where you're from, you hold beliefs about life. They may not be religious or spiritual beliefs, but rather beliefs about life and what it holds. Beliefs about how you should live. The problem is, it's easy to let your beliefs control you, instead of you controlling your beliefs. Raising a Resilient, Bounce Back Kid How does your child handle disappointment? What happens if they don't win the game, election or friend? Do they want to quit the team when they're not picked to play? Writing Articles for Readers Are you a writer? Would you like to increase the effectiveness of your articles? Are you feeling unsure about your audience or your ability to reach them? In order to build self confidence, the more you know, the more you can grow. Who commits incest? Generally it is considered incest if the child has been used in a sexual manner by fathers or step-fathers, mothers or step-mothers, brothers, sisters or cousins as well as members of their extended family such as grandparents, aunts and uncles. What is Incest? Is it Sexual Abuse? What are acceptable boundaries of affection between family members or close friends of the family? How do you know when someone has crossed the line and moved into unacceptable sexual behavior? Is incest, or sexual abuse of children by other than strangers, really that common? Does it really do that much harm to the child? Time to Daydream and Use Imagination Everyone needs silence and privacy at times. Many parents have their children in so many structured programs to "enrich" their lives that there is no times to just think and be. We should never become full time recreation directors for our children. Step Parent Success-7 Easy Steps Being a step parent does not mean being stepped on or walked over like a doormat. It also does not have to be hard, frustrating and disruptive to daily life. Parenting is a challenge, even when you have known the children from birth. Blending families, past experiences, expectations, parenting styles and stages of growth can have an impact on relationships. It is easy to love someone else's children, not always easy to raise them. Show You Love Children in Non Verbal Ways It is not enough for parents, step parents and extended family to feel a deep glow of love for the children in your circle of influence. You must convey that feeling into a message that is heard, felt and integrated by the child. Children need to be told both verbally and non-verbally how much they are valued for just being them. Show Love for a Child in 5 More Simple Ways So often we do what is called unconscious parenting, just getting through the day. It is not that we don't love our family; it is just that the love sometimes gets lost in the translation through poor communications or unskillful methods. Rules for Respect-Boundaries of Behavior Do your kids think you have too many rules? Do they push the limits and boundaries of respect? Perhaps you have had similar conversations that started like these in order to teach respect for others. Overcome Negative Self Talk with Encouragement How do you typically define yourself? Do you tell yourself as well as others that you are disorganized, financially challenged or simply not good enough? Family Councils That Work A family meeting or council is a regularly scheduled gathering of all family members. Its purpose is to make plans and decisions, set goals as a family, provide encouragement and have fun together. This is a good place to discuss household chores and upcoming activities. It is also a great place to try out new skills in a safe environment. This is a time for family communication and respect. Express Love for a Child in 5 Simple Ways Below are 5 simple ways to express your love and appreciation to and for your child. Note I did not say easy, because any positive change in behavior is hard, but the end result is well worth the effort. Good luck. Do More With Children, Not For Them - Ages 6 to 8 years old - Primary Grades Work with your children to learn life skills and you are giving them a priceless gift in self confidence. Deflect Criticism - Enhance Relationships Here are some methods I have found to be effective in deflecting criticism, while enhancing relationships. Criticism, Control and Cutting Remarks "You have such a pretty face; it’s too bad you are overweight." "How could you be so dumb?" "You did that wrong again." "What is the matter with you? Aren’t you listening?" "You are just like your dad and he was a loser too." Compliment Your Child - Positive Reinforcement Do you know how to compliment your child? Strangely enough, many parents don’t. If you never heard anything except criticism and negative comments growing up, you need to learn the words and actions in order to build the self esteem and character of your child. Complain, Criticize or Change - Don’t be part of the problem, be the solution "So you watch yourself about complaining, Sister. What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is to change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Don't complain." Maya Angelou Body Language Clues for Communication Shrugs, sighs, eye rolling, sneers, slumped shoulders, ignoring, mumbling are all gestures of non verbal communication. But then, so are smiles, winks, hugs, spontaneous eye contact and a relaxed stance. The problem with trying to read people, and especially your children, is that body language can have multiple meanings, depending on the culture, past experiences and willingness to share emotions and feelings. Amazing Imagination - Daydream and Create Are your children lost in cyber space? Do they prefer the company of video games and television to the family? Can they day dream and use their imagination to create wonderful games or activities on their own? Do they need someone or something to tell them how to have fun? Adversity, Hard Times and Trouble; Why Not You? Some years ago, our family was going through a tough time. We had suffered lots of financial, medical and emotional stress. It became so overwhelming that we approached an older man from our church for counsel. 4 Step Training System – How to Teach Your Kids New Skills Chores are an important part of daily life. Those mundane daily jobs that seem effortless for adults to tackle can seem like insurmountable tasks for some children. Membership in a family takes coordinated effort for a household to run smoothly. Each person has a role to play and jobs to perform. Character; Foundation of Self-Confidence Success in building character is to build self confidence. Teach Children Good Work Habits When the family realizes that by working together there will be extra time to spend having fun, they will be more willing to leave old habits behind in favor of the new. Sequencing - If I Knew Then What I Know Now Sequencing is the one word that sums up what I know to be true. It took me some time to really "get it." It being that you can have, be and accomplish anything you want in life, but not all at one time. Living in anticipation of this season to be over so that you can find happiness in the next is a fallacy and prime breeding ground for resentment and stomachaches. Helping Others-Natural Compassion Sometimes, helping others is as natural as breathing. It comes natural for many people. They radiate nurture and acceptance to those they come in contact with during their daily journey.

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