Family Councils That Work

A family meeting or council is a regularly scheduled gathering of all family members. Its purpose is to make plans and decisions, set goals as a family, provide encouragement and have fun together. This is a good place to discuss household chores and upcoming activities. It is also a great place to try out new skills in a safe environment. This is a time for family communication and respect. It is not a time for conflict, criticism or complaints. In a democratic family, decisions that affect the entire family are made cooperatively. Begin to hold meetings on a regular basis when you feel your relationship, as a parent with your children is one of mutual respect and honesty.

A typical family council might be held on a Sunday night from 7-8 with plans for playing board games afterward. Some families hold theirs over breakfast in a restaurant. Every family is different, but there needs to be at least one hour a week where it is just "our time". That means no friends, telephone, TV or interruptions of any kind. It is a special time to really cement strong communication lines with each other and to reinforce how special each family member is to the whole.

Guidelines for Family Council

1. Meet at same time each week.
2. Treat all members as equals.
3. Everyone gets heard. Use a talking stick.
4. Use "I" statements.
5. Use an agenda so you stick to issues.
6. Take turns being in charge and handling different assignments.
7. Recognize all the good things that have happened all week.
8. Praise the actions of all family members.
9. Respect privacy-never single anyone out or embarrass him or her.
10. Keep it under an hour and end with refreshments and a fun activity.
11. Keep a record in blank book, so the family knows what they agreed to do.
12. HAVE FUN!

Pitfalls for Family Council

1. The only time you meet is during a crisis.
2. Some people dominate the conversation.
3. Lack of respect for one another by interrupting or name-calling.
4. Focusing on complaints and gripes.
5. Only talking about problems.
6. Allowing yelling
7. Not making decisions
8. Not following through with decisions
9. Not keeping to time limits
10. Focusing on the negative.
11. Embarrassing or picking on one member of the family.
12. Giving up too easily. It takes time to build respect, harmony and cooperation. The end result is worth the energy it takes to establish a good habit. Hang in there.

Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

©2007 Judy H. Wright is a parent educator and author who lives in Missoula, MT. but speaks internationally on building strong families. You will find free articles as well as a full listing of books, workshops, and parenting aids at www.ArtichokePress.com. For a free eBook visit www.UseEncouragingWords.com. You can also sign up for free teleclasses at www.ArtichokePress.com/workshops.

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