Who commits incest?

Generally it is considered incest if the child has been used in a sexual manner by fathers or step-fathers, mothers or step-mothers, brothers, sisters or cousins as well as members of their extended family such as grandparents, aunts and uncles.

Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between people who aren't married to one another. State laws vary regarding the type of sexual activity and also on what constitutes the type of kinship that indicates incest rather than sexual abuse.

Some definitions include teachers, neighbors, stepfamilies, babysitters, ministers/priests and others who are in the circle of influence of a child and have established an emotional bond. That is why it is hard to get substantiated statistics, because people generally refer to events with this obscure language and misleading definitions.

Boundaries of acceptable behavior are crossed

Incest becomes very confusing for the child involved. When boundaries of acceptable behavior are ignored or flaunted, children do not know how to make sense of what is happening. It can affect their future relationships with intimacy, trust and love issues.

Many times the perpetrator really does love and value the child, but chooses an inappropriate way of expressing that love.

Is Just One Child Sexually Abused?

In cases of incest, it is hard to get the truth because those who sexually use children also lie and manipulate the truth to serve their own means. Sometimes it is the oldest child, or the girl, or one who is handicapped, or the one with long hair or it could be all of the children.

If an adult is sexually abusing children within the family, they may also be going outside the family for vulnerable and available children.

There is no way to determine what the pattern of fantasy an offender has. Most have rationalized the offense in their mind and try to place blame on the victim.

The Child is Never at Fault

Children are innocent and should be protected by the adults in their circle of influence. It is sad that some adults will suspect abuse, but ignore the signals rather than disturb the offender. They choose security over safety for the child.

If a grandfather were found to be abusing a ten-year old granddaughter, it would be wise to err on the side of caution and protect all the children. He should be held accountable for his acts, whether it was one child or a multi-generational cycle of abuse.

In Any Family

Incest can happen in any family and can happen one time or be an on-going problem. Boundaries are crossed and sacred trusts are broken. Sometimes there is confusion in family roles and if the parent is absent, either physically or emotionally, the child is forced into that role. Sometimes an adult will rationalize what they are doing is a "service" to the child to teach them about sex and prepare them for adulthood.

Whatever the reason or the excuse the offender uses, it is wrong! Adults are responsible for protecting, loving and nurturing children, not hurting them.

Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

The information for this article was taken from a book being written called Caution Without Fear-Safeguarding Children from Sexual Abuse and Finding Help if it Has Occurred. This book will soon be available at Artichoke Press. Would you like to learn to set boundaries and build self confidence in yourself and loved ones? Check out the affordable and effective new eCourse by Judy H. Wright at www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com Please join us for free weekly teleclasses at www.ArtichokePress.com where you can sign up for a free newsletter; The Artichoke-Finding the Heart of the Story in the Journey of Life.

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